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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Al-Anon Family Group's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, September 1st, 2013
10:39 pm
its really hard for me to write this cause, well i know i have a problem, but i dont want to admit i have a problem. That sounds ridiculous i know and doesnt make a lot of sense but whatever.

To put it simply i drink too often and too much.

Ive lost count of how many times in the last few months people have mentioned my drinking habits to me and that its not good. I know that, fuck im sitting here, 10.30pm on a sunday, in bed drinking!!

At this stage ive tried asking for help. I actually went on the AA website & requested someone contact me. Im not the kind to go to meetings without at least knowing someone! But yeah , never got contacted and forgot bout it. Wasnt all that bothered and kept chugging along as i do.

Now im at the point where one minute im good, the next im moody as hell and feeling the need to drink to get past it. "Chugging along" hasnt helped and nobody else gets it.

Even when i offer to be the sober driver people buy me drinks, not enough to get drunk but as soon as i have it, i feel the need to continue drinking.

I dont even really know what im hoping to achieve from writing this. A sense of understanding maybe? I dunno, it is what it is.
Sunday, July 7th, 2013
7:27 am
2013 International
Has been a hoot!  So many people from everywhere.  The one we didn't anticipate was Korea - we had everything else covered.  It took 2 days to find a translator for them.  Today is the last day of the actual conference and then the cruise starts.  If you're on the cruise, come say hi! 
Weren't the speakers last night incredible?  Loved the Alateen speaker!

And now - for a week off.
Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
6:19 pm
Oh cool - my ticket for the International Convention arrived today!  It's starting to feel real!!  http://www.al-anoninternationalconvention.org/</a>
Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
5:16 pm
New to this community & question
Hi I'm Emma and I'm coming up to 14 months sober.

For the last couple of months I have really gone off attending meetings. I always feel really uncomfortable and don't feel I fit in as I'm the youngest (I'm 22), I'm a student and I think I'm the only atheist there. Always feel out of place and never look forward in going. Sometimes I feel sad coming out as it'll bring back bad memories even though its to appreciate and be grateful for be sober.

Therefore I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this?


Thursday, May 16th, 2013
9:32 pm
2 weeks left before tickets prices go up
Just a reminder that the prices go up in two weeks!



Looking forward to seeing you all in Vancouver in a few weeks!!
Monday, March 11th, 2013
10:05 pm
Getting excited
Countdown to the International!
And we booked into the cruise tonight and checked in online!  I'm looking forward to meetings onboard!
Friday, December 14th, 2012
7:24 am
For those of you that do not get International Convention news through your Area Service Structure or Area Newsletter, please note the following upcoming deadlines: ,

· To take advantage of the lowest registration fee, your registration must be received by December 31. · If you need translation services in the Big Meetings, please be sure to register by December 31. · You still have time to apply for or renew your passport for everyone traveling from countries other than Canada. The convention Registration Web-site link is: _http://www.al-anoninternationalconvention.org/_
or you can access it through the WSO Members Web-site at: _http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/members/_

Remember, the password to get on is your homegroup name including the letters AFG at the end. I would also add that it is not any too early to be making your hotel reservations for Vancouver. You can do that via the International Convention Registration site also.
If you are going on the cruise, you will not need a reservation for July 7th, as you will be aboard the ship. However, if you can not get a flight
out of Vancouver the day we return to Vancouver (July 14th) or you want to stay longer, you should make a hotel reservation for those nights also.
Vancouver Hotels are very busy during the summer so personally
Tuesday, September 11th, 2012
9:57 pm
Sunday, July 22nd, 2012
10:41 pm
Some rumination
This week I will have been in Al-Anon half my life. What's weird to think is half my life ago I doubted I would be this age. But I am. And moreover, I'm still practicing my program to the best of my ability. I remember hearing another member once, who said that being here for x-years didn't make her perfect. It just meant when she lost it, she had the tools to get back on track sooner. So it's easier now to not sweat the small stuff, easier to let the anger go, easier to accept that just for today I am exactly where I am and I'm grateful that my lessons, though they still hurt, are not as painful as the ones I've come through.

Of all the "Just for Todays", my favorite is "Just for Today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me."
Monday, June 11th, 2012
4:42 pm
Hanging on for the ride
My qualifier has been headed for the bottom for some time now and I'm pretty sure the bottom is getting close. I need to be strong to not give in and give him money. I cut all his access to the accounts I use to pay the bills a few months back and gave him half the money in the savings. I told him that was the last money I had to give him. He didn't stop and think and now has spent all that money. His warehouse rent is due, his phone bill is due, his truck insurance is due. On top of all that, our oldest dog died a few weeks back and he is depressed about that on top of finances. I had thought of buying new tires for his truck for his birthday/our anniversary/and Christmas all rolled into one present but now I'm wondering is he going to sell his truck for money? If so, I'm not buying him tires. I feel like I'm hanging on to a pole in a hurricane waiting for the wind to stop. Some days its so depressing watching him sink I just want to go away somewhere but I know that isn't realistic. I go to my local meeting and do my reading but sometimes I feel like even with all that it is a really bumpy long ride to the bottom. Thanks for listening folks.

Current Mood: drained
Saturday, April 14th, 2012
6:06 am
2013 International
If anyone is planning on attending, there is a non-conference approved cruise afterward. The downpayment for the cruise, $101, has to be paid by April 30, 2012. If anyone is interested, I'd be happy to email the form and details, just let me know.

And whether you cruise or not, hope to meet everyone at the 2013 International!! :-)
Monday, February 27th, 2012
10:08 pm
Thursday, December 1st, 2011
6:00 pm
The serenity prayer
over and over

god grant me the serenity
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Okay HP - could you shoot me some wisdom here today?? please??
Sunday, September 18th, 2011
11:56 am
Amends Question
I've got a question for those who read and post here, having to do with making amends. I've gone through the steps before, and I've gotten to do several of them before. However, I think I've gone one coming up that I'm not sure how to deal with. The question I run into is how does one go about making amends to someone who's dead.

The background on that is that my wife passed away about 7 months ago, having taken her life. I'd decided to work the steps again, specifically around her suicide. I'm currently on six, but I can see that one coming up. Doing the inventory helped me see how much I had done well in our time together, but there are also some things that I'd done badly, that I really wish I'd have done differently. With someone who's alive, I know how to approach them, to own up to what I've done, to offer amends, to do what I can. However, that's a bit more complicated with someone who I can't physically see or approach or even call or write to. As of yet, I still haven't found the Celestial Telegraph Office....

Any ideas that people have to share here would be most welcome.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Tuesday, August 9th, 2011
12:21 pm
Watching him hit bottom
My husband has been drinking for the entire close to 35 years we have been together. Over the last 10 years he has gone down hill quickly. With the help of Al Anon I have quit supporting him (paying his bills) and have quit enabling him. I'm not sure I can stand the daily drama now that I have set that pace. Everyday its a different drama with him. He gets drunk and hurts himself then complains and whines "Why does this happen to me?" When I tell him maybe he shouldn't have tried to do ____ while drinking he doesn't believe it has anything to do with him being drunk. Hello, sober people don't fall down while walking on a completely flat surface with nothing in the way. You can't blame my dog for it when she wasn't anywhere near you. It's really hard to see him like this. I can't feel confident that he isn't going to hurt himself when I'm not here and I don't trust him with my dogs - 2 German Shepherds - because when he is drunk he is not aware enough to be around them. I'm becoming a nervous wreck worrying about what he is going to do when I'm not home. He could accidentally let my dogs get out, or fall and hurt himself (3 times now that he has started bleeding and was not able to take care of it himself). I'm afraid something will happen to him when my 22 year old daughter is home alone with him and she wouldn't be able to handle it. Today he tried to stand on a bucket and fell and hit his head on the cement, then proceeded to tell me I'm stupid and shouldn't bother to do anything to try to help because I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I am losing it from all the stress and drama. I don't sleep well at night and I'm constantly exhausted. I don't feel like eating most of the time. I won't leave him and can't afford a divorce to have him leave - I've been paying the mortgage for 22 years, not him, and I refuse to give him money for half the house in order to get to keep it, not to mention that I don't have $250,000. I need to find a way to tune him out so that I don't lose my mind along with him losing his. Thank you for Al Anon Lois!

Current Mood: depressed
Monday, August 8th, 2011
12:25 pm
I am new to this group so I thought I'd introduce myself. I am a 22yr old recovering addict. I have been trying to get clean for a while now but have discovered that I am a chronic relapser. I know the right decisions I should be making but for some reason it is incredibly difficult for me to make those right decisions. Today, I have 8 days clean. I created this page because I need to do more this time. This needs to be serious for me because I will die out there. I am at the end of my rope and I am exausted. I can't continue the constant cycle. I can't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results because it will always end the same way. Please feel free to add me so we can follow each other! I need sober friends! :)

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?" - Nelson Mandela
Sunday, August 7th, 2011
9:44 pm
 Hello everyone. My name is Kitt. I am 22 years old and I have been drinking everyday since i was 14. I started drinking because my parents were never around and I felt like I was alone. I didn't have any friends, my family never talked to me. I just sat in my room from the time I came home from school until I went to bed. I have been diagnosed with severe depression. Recently I met a man who has changed the way I feel about myself. He showed me what true love was. I never knew what the word meant until I met him. I joined this group because I want to be better. I want to be better for myself and for our relationship to work. I need to get better. Last night was when I realized that my drinking was a real problem. I had never thought it was that bad until I stole my fiance's medication because I ran out of alcohol. He is an army vet and has a spinal cord injury and is on a lot of medication for pain. This was my all-time low. I feel terrible about it. It made me realize that I need to get better, or I will lose him. Today will be my last day of drinking. I cant keep doing this. It just gets worse and worse. Its time for me to stop. Tonight I called the AA hotline and they gave me times and locations for local meetings. I plan on going to all of them as I do not have a job and I am on break from school for the next month. 

Thank you for reading. I appreciate it. 
Friday, May 20th, 2011
6:24 pm
I'm letting him hit bottom
I have been in Al Anon for over three years going to meetings once a week and reading as well. I thought that I was in control of my life, of course not the alcoholic's life. Well here it is - time to let him hit bottom. I need strength to make it through this. He is my husband. He has been out of work for the most part of the last 8 months. He did manage, during that time, to find enough repair jobs etc to help pay his portion of the bills. Now last month he had no money to give me at all, not even the smaller and smaller amount he had been offering. I tried to be understanding and covered all the household bills and some of his business bills (telephone, advertising, insurance, truck payment) but not his warehouse rent. He paid the warehouse rent himself as he always had before leaving very little in his business account. I pointed out to him the last time I wrote out checks that he had only enough to pay rent two more times and he better get to work somehow even if it meant working for someone else and not his own business. He says, yeah, yeah I will. Well, now I ran into the chance for him to make over $1000 cash on top of getting the two new front tires his truck needs while I also made $500 extra for driving a friend's pickup truck up to his new house about 9 hours away. I jumped at the chance thinking it was great. My husband decided that it wasn't enough money so he didn't want the job. I told my friend and he said if that's how it is then he will get someone else and he wished me luck, no hard feelings. I can't imagine how when a person has no work at all and is spending money daily on beer and cigarettes, not to mention pouring gas into an F250 pickup truck on a very expensive frequency they can actually turn down a job offered to them as pure profit, no costs on his part involved at all. I finally realized I had to let him hit the bottom so I am no longer paying any bill that is just for his business.I will continue to pay the bills for the house to keep a roof over my head and my daughter's head but no more on his bills. I will keep up the family health insurance because if anything happened to him they would put a lien on my house that I have worked to pay for for the last 23 years. He just came to me and asked if I could take the money out of the savings account to give him. I told him no because that money was to pay the house insurance and taxes that are coming due. He looked like I hit him. It was like he never even thought he would have to pay his own way. He expected me to rescue him again. This time I'm not. I'm giving him over to my higher power and I'm not going to help him. Please help me be strong. I know I have to do this if he is ever going to get it but it is really hard watching the person I've known and loved for almost 35 years flounder around like I'm letting him down. He is trying to guilt me into helping him but not this time. I must be strong. Please let me be strong. I'm sorry for such a long blathering post but I had to get this out and it helps to type it out and read it.

Current Mood: sad
Saturday, May 14th, 2011
9:55 am

Hello. I've been a member of this community for a while, but never posted. Unsure if it's okay to post about a personal matter like this, but I would be grateful for feedback.

Hub and I have 58 years of sobriety between us, and my stepdaughter is dry, not sober, and has mental health issues. She's been homeless on and off for years, and has a criminal history. She recently was released from jail into her dad's care and he brought her home. He said the judge released her into his "custody," on the condition that he get her to court dates and appts. She stood us for about five days and was on the run again. (She likes to hang out on the avenue with the other winos and is popular, especially when she gets her check.)

Most recently, she was hospitalized again with a gallbladder complaint. They couldn't simply remove it, as her liver is compromised, and the shunts in her liver (due to bleeding varices) wouldn't allow gall bladder removal. Long and short, she is a sick woman in every way, and is due to be discharged today. Neither her dad nor I want her back. We feel awful but there it is. She's dishonest (one of many examples: she stole her dad's car eight times) and we don't trust her. Much more than that is the emotional havoc she creates in our home. It's amazing that he stood up to her, because he and she are members of a culture that sort of allow grown children to come and go in a "revolving door" fashion, no matter if they're users.

In the hospital last night, I kept trying to catch his eye, and if he'd given me a "should I relent?" look, I would have nodded. He deliberately didn't look at me, because he wants to stand fast. (We discussed it afterward.) Of course, to the world we look terrible, not allowing a sick woman home with us upon her discharge, but we're following our "gut."

Question is: are we complete assholes for not bringing her home? She's 34, not a minor child. Please advise if it's appropriate.
Monday, May 2nd, 2011
12:43 am
Hey! I'm new here and I'm on a blackberry so if I'm not supposed to introduce myself I'm sorry... Anyways my name is julie I am 25 years old and I'm engaged to a recovering alcoholic. We have a fourteen month old daughter together. Right now he is in FL while I'm in IN for he is in rehab. He went back in february did great and graduated lakeview. Was 60 days sober and relapsed. Made the decision to go back to rehab and he's been there for two weeks. It is hard but my faith is stronger than my fear. I started alanon recently and fell in love with it. I never knew I needed to change and grow myself too. I am on step three and am just surrendering to my God or hp. I am also a recovering borderline with a food addiction that would be binge eater.anorexic. I'm using the 12 steps in this as well. I'm a survivor of anorexia, cutting, domestic violence, and rape. Hi nice to meet you:) looking for support.
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